Dieser Artikel gibt dir einen Einblick in Texte, die während des Schreibprozesses meiner ersten Erzählung The Marvelous Misfits of Westminster* entstanden sind. Ich habe sie lediglich orthografisch überarbeitet – inhaltlich sind sie unverändert.
Im Folgenden zeige ich dir meinen Workshop Letter. Der Workshop Letter ist eine Methode, die wir im Rahmen der Coursera-Spezialisierung »Kreatives Schreiben« durchgeführt haben. Durch den Brief drückst du Wertschätzung für das erhaltene Feedback aus – denn es ist nicht selbstverständlich, dass sich Menschen Zeit für dich und deine Geschichte nehmen. Und der Workshop Letter gibt dir Gelegenheit, vor der Überarbeitung einen Schritt zurückzutreten und dich zu fragen: Welches Feedback habe ich erhalten? Wie will ich damit umgehen? Was sind meine nächsten Schritte? Diesen Brief schickst du natürlich niemanden – er ist nur für dich. Ich empfand ihn aber als gutes Hilfsmittel, um das Feedback zusammenzufassen und Überarbeitungsentscheidungen zu begründen.
Dear Workshop,
Thank you all for taking the time to read my story and giving me constructive feedback.
I am very happy to hear that most of you basically liked the story and were not too bored reading it. As positive aspects you named the weirdness of the characters/story and some descriptions (Lucky’s eyes, the burnt man). On the other hand the descriptions were also the part where some of you thought I could cut. During revision, I will check for descriptions that are repetitive. At least three characters were described by their eyes, maybe that’s a litte one-sided. Also, I am sure I can condense existing descriptions or choose different approaches for describing.
Some wished for more background information regarding the dogs. The reader has only to take the Hunt’s word for it. Others did not get right away that the dogs are supposed to have supernatural abilities. Also unclear is the fact that Harvey’s skin is a prophecy that is deciphered by Haimi. Those are certainly aspects that need to be made more clear as they are essential for understanding the story. However, I also need to make sure not to be too much on the nose with that as other readers found the hints to be sufficient. That is certainly a challenge.
I will have a look at each time I use the verb to be. It was pointed out to me that I could replace those with more active, descriptive words. That was a good point and goes onto my check list.
For the next draft, I will rethink the following aspects:
- How can I supercharge the weirdness of the piece? One reader pointed out to me that the story would benefit if the Hunts would enter the scene earlier.
- How can I make clearer that the dogs are supernatural and Harvey is a prophecy?
- Clement does not have to loose much in the story. I think his pride in doing his job well must be emphasized more. He gives up his professional pride to help Edith, even though she won’t come back to her. After that, there won’t be a way back to Westminster. And he needs to begin a new life. That’s were the new ending will come in. Clement joins the Hunts in their cause to find other Eppingers.
- Lucky needs to die (an be reborn) to make his nature more clear. The hunts will allude to the fact that the future of the line depends on Lucky mating with Salvatora. “He’s already alive longer than usual,“ said Haimi. “He can’t stay alive much longer,” said Harvey. “If this does not happen, it’s the end of the line.” In the end, there is also a new puppy with Lucky’s eyes.
- Maybe just use the eyes to describe Lucky and something else to describe the others / use long form only for the dogs, the Hunts – Edith needs to be described differently; maybe her fragility. She feels to Clement as if she is something so fragil that she will break under his touch. The (unnecessary) abortion is on her mind, as is the constant fear of the shadow that is following her.
- Although most of the readers liked the beginning, I want to rewrite the beginning of the story. I’ll set in later (when Clement meets Cynthia) and work in some of the characteristics there (for example that he dresses up every year just in case he has to fill in)
Unterstütze diesen Blog
Auf The Story to Be biete ich Inhalte rund ums Schreiben und Selfpublishing weitgehend kostenfrei an. Am liebsten soll das so bleiben! Darum freue ich mich über deine Unterstützung. Hier sind einige Möglichkeiten, was fürs gute Karma zu tun:
- Wenn dir der Blog gefällt, erzähl es weiter! Teile den Artikel gerne über Social Media oder mit deiner Schreibgruppe.
- Kaufe meine Bücher: Du findest sie auf Amazon*.
- Nutze Affiliate-Links: Klicke auf die mit Sternchen (*) gekennzeichneten Links. Wenn du etwas über einen dieser Links kaufst, erhalte ich eine kleine Provision. Für dich ändert sich am Preis nichts.
- Lass einen Kommentar da: So hilfst du mit, dass der Blog von Suchmaschinen besser platziert wird und mehr Schreibende ihn finden können.
- Spende: Unterstütze mich dauerhaft, indem du auf den Sign-up-Link klickst oder spende einmalig für diesen Artikel.
Vielen Dank für deine Unterstützung!
